Still Waiting...
Hi All,
At this time we still have no update or idea of travel time. I have been waiting to post something until we had something more concrete to say, but we just don't.
Last week I received a call (what I thought was the travel call) letting us know that there has been a delay in our court assignment due to the court registrar. From what we understand they usually change registrars in July, however this year it was done early (whether due to the other person being fired or just a change, who knows) and the new registrar has not shown up to work yet (again, whether they had someone lined up or not, we don't know). At this point we are still on standby and just eagerly waiting a new update. Our orphanage director is planning to head back to Uganda early due to the many changes happening at this time, so hopefully that should give us more concrete info and faster.
Needless to say I have been having a very difficulty time. My heart was prepared to leave in August or September and since the timeline has been moved up I let myself get hopeful. This was a bad decision on my part. Over these last 3 weeks my anticipation has grown each day and I have spent many nights curled up in tears. Most of the emotional burden is the unknown and the gripping fear that comes with this process, but a lot of it is the love I'm feeling for my boys and simply not knowing when we'll get to see them. All of our bags are packed, zipped and ready to go, yet we continue to wait. We're feeling like we're in the dark about when we'll actually go, and wondering if it will really happen before the courts close on July 15. At this point the adoption consumes my daily thoughts. It's all I can think about and dream about and getting up and going to work everyday just seems so trivial in comparison. I'm sure many of you may think I'm crazy, and most days I feel that way, but I wanted to give you an honest glimpse into my heart these days. To explain why things have been quiet, and why this adoption waiting thing is so dang hard.
If I’ve learned anything over this year and a half of waiting, it is that God is most certainly with us. He is for us. He is kind and caring and He has not and will not abandon us. Yet, in the midst of the WAITING, I often doubt that truth. When I'm feeling hopeless and lost and like this will never happen, I doubt. I have been spending an hour a day in God's word, reading, praying, worshiping and declaring all the things I want to see, but I'm just feeling so weary. I'm feeling numb to the emotion of it all, yet continuing to somehow push forward. I know that His Word brings strength to every painful situation, and the more time I spend refreshing myself the more grace He gives me. We serve a faithful God and just because I don't SEE things moving doesn't mean He's not working on our behalf. I have been so challenged to trust His timing every step of the way and this is again no exception...but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. Every. Single. Day. My heart is bursting at the seems with love and expectation and it's so hard to wake up everyday just to have another day pass with no movement forward. To wake up everyday with the anticipation that you might meet your kids this week and then another week goes by and still no date in sight. I'm continuing to believe we will travel before the court deadline until it passes. I'm continuing to trust God despite my feelings. I'm continuing to put my hope in Him and not rely on myself. I know things in country will be just as trying and just as emotional but having our boys in our arms will make the journey totally doable.
Please continue to pray for us. We are feeling tired and weary and discouraged, but our God is mighty and we know He will sustain us. We can't thank you all enough for your kind words, support and prayers. We need them more than we can say. We hope to share some good news soon.
We love you,
At this time we still have no update or idea of travel time. I have been waiting to post something until we had something more concrete to say, but we just don't.
Last week I received a call (what I thought was the travel call) letting us know that there has been a delay in our court assignment due to the court registrar. From what we understand they usually change registrars in July, however this year it was done early (whether due to the other person being fired or just a change, who knows) and the new registrar has not shown up to work yet (again, whether they had someone lined up or not, we don't know). At this point we are still on standby and just eagerly waiting a new update. Our orphanage director is planning to head back to Uganda early due to the many changes happening at this time, so hopefully that should give us more concrete info and faster.
Needless to say I have been having a very difficulty time. My heart was prepared to leave in August or September and since the timeline has been moved up I let myself get hopeful. This was a bad decision on my part. Over these last 3 weeks my anticipation has grown each day and I have spent many nights curled up in tears. Most of the emotional burden is the unknown and the gripping fear that comes with this process, but a lot of it is the love I'm feeling for my boys and simply not knowing when we'll get to see them. All of our bags are packed, zipped and ready to go, yet we continue to wait. We're feeling like we're in the dark about when we'll actually go, and wondering if it will really happen before the courts close on July 15. At this point the adoption consumes my daily thoughts. It's all I can think about and dream about and getting up and going to work everyday just seems so trivial in comparison. I'm sure many of you may think I'm crazy, and most days I feel that way, but I wanted to give you an honest glimpse into my heart these days. To explain why things have been quiet, and why this adoption waiting thing is so dang hard.
If I’ve learned anything over this year and a half of waiting, it is that God is most certainly with us. He is for us. He is kind and caring and He has not and will not abandon us. Yet, in the midst of the WAITING, I often doubt that truth. When I'm feeling hopeless and lost and like this will never happen, I doubt. I have been spending an hour a day in God's word, reading, praying, worshiping and declaring all the things I want to see, but I'm just feeling so weary. I'm feeling numb to the emotion of it all, yet continuing to somehow push forward. I know that His Word brings strength to every painful situation, and the more time I spend refreshing myself the more grace He gives me. We serve a faithful God and just because I don't SEE things moving doesn't mean He's not working on our behalf. I have been so challenged to trust His timing every step of the way and this is again no exception...but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. Every. Single. Day. My heart is bursting at the seems with love and expectation and it's so hard to wake up everyday just to have another day pass with no movement forward. To wake up everyday with the anticipation that you might meet your kids this week and then another week goes by and still no date in sight. I'm continuing to believe we will travel before the court deadline until it passes. I'm continuing to trust God despite my feelings. I'm continuing to put my hope in Him and not rely on myself. I know things in country will be just as trying and just as emotional but having our boys in our arms will make the journey totally doable.
Please continue to pray for us. We are feeling tired and weary and discouraged, but our God is mighty and we know He will sustain us. We can't thank you all enough for your kind words, support and prayers. We need them more than we can say. We hope to share some good news soon.
We love you,