Week 7...Frustrated

Hi All,

A big thank you to all of you who continue to read my posts each week. I can't tell you how much we value your words of encouragement, and we hope to hear from more of you soon (wink wink)! This week was frustrating in so many regards and even our best efforts seemed to go unnoticed. We were pretty disheartened early in the week, but we've been trying to put our best foot forward and realize that we really have no control over the situation. We are trusting God with EVERYTHING and believing that He will intervene on our behalf. I was battling sickness most of the week, and I was in tears many times at the frustration I was feeling; trying to parent in Africa with no comforts from home, feeling miserable, having to walk miles and miles in the heat while carrying one of my boys on my back. It was just so hard and I think I shed more tears this week than I have the whole time we've been here. J&L were also not feeling well this week with runny noses, cough and diarrhea, so we were quite the sight to see. It was extremely trying for our temperaments and emotions, but thankfully we made it through and we are believing for better next week!! Now for the play by play...

On Monday we were told to be ready to go to Kampala by 7:45 with the boys to pick up our passports!! We were PUMPED. It was 2 weeks from our interview to pick-up, which is great! Some of the families before us waited 4+ weeks, so we were thrilled! However, our excitement turned to misery quickly and it is safe to say that Monday was the worst day we've had to date. We arrived at the orphanage at 7:45 and 1) the boys weren't ready yet, 2) they hadn't eaten breakfast, and 3) I was told at 8am that they had "misplaced" L's original birth certificate. I'm sorry, did you just say the birth certificate we need for EVERYTHING is no where to be found?! Deeeeeep breath. It literally took all my energy to not just freak out. So while the boys were getting ready, I helped look for L's birth certificate through files, bins, boxes, etc. No luck. Sooo they gave me a copy and let me know that they will keep looking. Additionally, Lindsey was *maybe* coming with us to get her son's passport as well, however that morning the director was adamant she go too. Sooooo I call Lindsey, she shows up at 8:45, and the van goes from just the 4 of us to 7. At 9:30 we FINALLY hit the road and drive the 2+ hours to Kampala. The boys were generally ok in the car, but once again, I HATE the drive, I HATE that the boys are not safe, I HATE that you have to be on constant watch that no one is slamming fingers in the window or being thrown into the seat when we slam on the breaks (this happens all the time as there are really no traffic laws!), or dropping someone else's toy out the window, and the list goes on. I literally dread it. Halfway through our trip Lindsey gets a call from the director telling her we need to stop by the lawyer's office first so we can pick-up some paperwork. So after that stop, we arrive to the passport office by noon and gear up. Once we arrived we call A, who's been our contact, and she tells me to wait under the white tent. Now when I say we arrive at the passport "office", it's really not an office at all. It's a series of tents all facing different directions that all have a different purpose. You are outside the entire time with hundreds of other Ugandans, and just waiting in a "cue" of people to be called. So now that you have a better picture, we were told to wait behind the white tent. About 20 minutes later she calls me to come to her office and I meet her (in a building!) to hand her our forms. We then go back outside under the white tent and wait again. About 15 minutes later, she calls me over to another tent and lets me know we can come and wait under the green tent. So we gather up the boys and head to the green tent, where we sit down and wait. This tent is where the passports get handed out, so we thought we were almost done. We wait while they call everyone's names but ours, until finally they get to the last 3 and I hear L and J's names get called. So we walk up to the a man with a GIANT book...I'm talking HUGE...and he shows us the passports and then asks us to sign them out with our contact info. So I do exactly as he says, and then he tells me, actually, you need to talk to another man who does adoption passports. So again we sit and wait for 20 minutes, with the boys starting to get antsy and no man coming to see us. Then all of a sudden they cover up the tables with a cloth, and tell us we need to go wait back under the white tent because they are going to lunch. WHAT?! Soooooo again we gather up the boys, walk back over to the white tent, and feeling completely disheveled, we sit on a large pile of dirt behind the tent, as there were no seats to be found. At this point the boys are tired, hungry grumps, and we're doing everything we can to try to get them to calm down. Finally, about 30 minutes later, they signal for us to come back to the green tent to chat with the adoption guy. So we gather up the boys and walk back over to the green tent where Paul gets them settled and I go to chat with adoption guy. Right off the bat he is rude and quick tempered with me, and asks me to hand over my paperwork. I, trying to be kind, ask him what paperwork he's referring to. He begins to yell at me a list of documents that we have ALREADY SUBMITTED with our initial application. So I begin to explain to him that we have already given all of those documents when we applied, and we did not have them with us today. Well he basically told me he didn't care and to figure it out, then walks away. At this point it's been over 2 hours and we are all exhausted. So we walk back over to our pile of dirt behind the white tent and set up shop while I call our lawyer and orphanage director for guidance. They both tell me that they will have our driver go pick up the needed documents, deliver them to us, and then we can re-submit them to adoption guy. So again we wait and wait and wait, until finally I see our driver and he hands me the envelope we need. Praise Jesus. We walk back over to the green tent to see adoption guy and he refuses to make eye contact with us. I mean seriously, come on. He knows we're there waiting. We are the only white people around. Yet he refuses to acknowledge us. So at this point I am furious and I stomp my little 5'1" self back over to A's office and ask her to PLEASE walk my paperwork over to adoption guy. So thankfully she agrees, and we walk back over together to the green tent, where she leads me into adoption guy's building and hands him our paperwork. Adoption guy, still refusing to acknowledge us, continues to do whatever he's doing, before he finally looks up at us. He immediately begins to yell at me saying that what we gave him was insufficient as he needs the written ruling...the whole time talking to us as if we are the stupidest people on the planet, and continuing to not make any eye contact. Once he pauses, I kindly explain to him that we were told by people IN HIS OFFICE that we only needed the court order and not our written ruling, and that again everything here is what we submitted initially and they did not tell us of a problem. He again yells at me that "this is not his problem", takes our paperwork and leaves. I immediately begin to shed silent tears as I try to figure out what to do. Our passports were visible. I saw them with my own eyes. I gave them everything they asked for. But still no passports. So I again call our lawyer and the orphanage director, who both say that our written rulings are not done yet and we should just come home. So after 4.5 hours outside on our dirt pile, with 3 adults trying to keep it together and 4 toddlers not keeping it together, we gather our things and walk back to the van. We were all exhausted, angry, sad, and frustrated but there was nothing to do but head back to Jinja. The van ride home was terrible once again, and poor little J was sick which made his temperament even worse. He was so over-tired and irritable and the entire 2 hour ride home was a constant battle. Thankfully L fell asleep on Paul for most of the ride home, but J was screaming and wailing and flailing and kicking and hitting and anything else you can think of. I was already exhausted and while trying to console my 4 year old, I cried silently the whole ride home because the day could not have been any worse. We got back to Jinja close to the boys' bedtime so we said our goodbyes and then headed home. We ate a small dinner, then came home and had a good cry. As frustrating as everything was, we were more frustrated that we went through it all for nothing. We made no progress. No steps forward. No passports. Needless to say I pounded a good amount of chocolate before heading to bed a little early and trying to sleep it off. Woof.

The only picture I took all day...L sleeping on Paul

Tuesday we woke up exhausted, almost as if we had taken sedatives. It was all we could do to get up and get ready, and we prayed for energy as we walked to the orphanage. We picked up the boys at 9:30, and it was clear that J was feeling worse than the day before. Our original plan was to go have them play at Heal Ministries, but instead we went and got coffees before heading back to our apartment. We played inside and out, letting J rest when he needed to, but kept everything pretty low key. We did our usual mid-day routine and headed in for nap around 1. They both fell asleep pretty quickly and slept for over 2 hours. It was clear they needed it, and we were happy to have them back on a normal schedule. In the afternoon we decided to stay close to home and just went outside to play. J watched a weed whacker next door for most of the afternoon, as he was still in a bit of a daze, and L enjoyed having all the toys to himself :) We dropped the boys off at 6:15, headed to dinner and then back home for the night. 

J watching the weed whacker ("Machine") next door

J watching the video of the machine on my phone while he rested :)

Wednesday we were supposed to receive our written rulings from the Judge, but it unfortunately was a no go. All I can say is that it's in God's hands. On a different note, we had some friends from Charlottesville, Scott and Megan, arrive early in the morning (5am), and it was SO nice to see some familiar faces! After they arrived, we got them settled in, tried to sleep for another hour or so, then got up for the day. We picked up the boys at 9, headed downtown for coffee and errands, then came back to our apartment around 11. The boys played outside for an hour or so until Scott and Megan were up, then we came in to meet them and all ate lunch together. We got the boys down for their nap around 1:05 and L slept until 2:45 and J until 3:20. Poor little guy was still getting over being sick. During their nap we sat outside and just enjoyed catching up with Scott and Megan. In the afternoon, we carried the boys on our backs and headed downtown to show Scott and Megan the lay of the land. The boys loved having other people here and L was hamming it up! At 5:15 we headed back to the orphanage and we all played with the kids for about 45 minutes. All the kiddos LOVED having 2 new faces to jump on and love on, and it was apparent Scott and Megan felt the same way :) We were all hot and tired and sweaty by the time we left, but it was well worth it. Those faces make your heart melt! We all headed to dinner downtown at one of our favorite places, and enjoyed a leisurely meal with good conversation. On our walk back home, we heard some traditional worship music coming from the middle of a field near-by and all of us decided to go check it out. After a bit of walking, simply following the music, we found the church and decided to sit in on the service. The church was called Christ Commission Ministries and despite being the only muzungus (white people) there, we settled in to a middle row. We enjoyed the music for a while, even though a lot of it was in Luganda, and were able to worship despite the language barrier. When the worship was over they brought up a guest speaker from Kampala who was going to be speaking for the evening. His English was great, and we all felt led to stay, so we hunkered in for the possibility of a long haul :) The sermon was SO good and so applicable to our lives, and the speaker himself was so dynamic and eloquent in his words. Toward the end he began to speak over people, and he called all 5 of us muzungus up to the front. He spoke awesome words over all of us, especially Scott and Megan, and it was so clear that we were supposed to be at that service. God is cool like that :) We didn't get home until after 10, and we were all pretty tired from the day, so we parted ways and headed to bed. It was a good day. 

Scott and Megan!!

Our shadows :) The boys love seeing them!

Walking downtown with J on my back

Paul, Scott and Megan Helping push a broken down van

Letting J&L walk down our dirt road

Thursday we ate breakfast with Scott and Megan, then headed to the orphanage to get the boys by 9:15. The stroller at the orphanage has been broken so Paul and I have been carrying the boys on our backs EVERYWHERE. They LOVE it and it's nice to have some free arms, but it's exhausting to walk all day with the addition of 35 lbs. Somehow we're making it through :) After we got the boys ready and on our backs, we walked downtown to grab some coffees then headed to the local market to let Scott and Megan see the sites. The walk is pretty far, but we enjoyed chatting with them, and they also did some shopping along the way! Afterwards we took a leisurely walk back home, popping into different shops for them to peruse the goods. The boys did very well overall, but were definitely starting to get a bit antsy at the end, so we parted ways and headed home. We gave the boys lunch then did our usual afternoon routine before nap. L went down quick at 1:05, but Jman was on the fritz and didn't fall asleep until 1:45. No good. Also, our break was interrupted a few times by a poopsplosion from L (still half asleep!) and J up and about multiple times. I know J was SO tired that day, but he was fighting sleep and I knew it would be a tough afternoon. We finally got J out of bed at 3 (to not wake up L) and had him come sit with us. He was still being so irritable, and it was taking all of our patience to keep him calm. L slept until 4, which was crazy, but this momma was SO happy he got some good sleep! In the afternoon we walked over to Heal Ministries by the lake to let the boys play. It was later in the day than usual, so there weren't as many of their children around, and our boys enjoyed having so many new choices of toys! Most of our time there was spent by L "driving the car to Kampala" and J getting food and drink for us to have. Paul would steer them around the lot, and then they would return and say, "Mommy this is Chapati for you! Auntie Megan, juice for you!" and so on. It was SO sweet and I loved how much they were using their imaginations :) We left Heal at 5:45 and walked slowly back to the orphanage. Both boys were more sad than usual to leave us today, but we gave them lots of love and they seemed to do okay as we walked out of the gate. It's so hard to drop them off, but I know God has them, and at this point that's all I can count on. For dinner we headed to a local restaurant called Park Villa that cooks all Ugandan staples. We were a little nervous to try it, but we had heard good things, so off we went! The food we had was delicious, and for $2-3 each ,we got more food than any of us could eat in one sitting! Between all of us we had chicken, goat, posho, beans, matoke, sweet potatoes, greens, rice and pumpkins. Say what?! Next time we will share plates :) We walked off our dinner on the way home and then got some homemade ice cream from our Italian landlady :) She makes 4 different flavors that she has on hand and they are all delicious! After we finished our ice cream we sat outside with Scott and Megan and talked until after 11 when the rain came. It was so nice to have friends on African soil, and we enjoyed having some adult time as compared to the normal routine :)

Walking to Heal Ministries

J flying to America! He loves wearing sunglasses!

Driving to Kampala ;)

Daddy helping them out :)

Friday morning I woke up not feeling very well, and I had a sore throat, swollen glands, a stiff neck and a headache. Unfortunately you can't really stop for sickness around here, so I took some meds, said a lot of prayers and geared up for the day. We ate breakfast at 8:30 then headed to get the boys. It was a beautiful morning, so we walked over to the Jinja sailing club to watch the boats. We were the only people there, which was so nice, and the boys enjoyed having 2 more people to add to the mix! We spent the morning just enjoying the cool breeze from the water, feeding some ducks, and counting boats. It's the simple things in life. We left the sailing club at noon and walked back to our apartment for lunch. On our way back we saw 2 monkeys very close to us in a nearby tree and the boys LOVED it...so did Scott :) We watched them run up and down the tree for a while, before finally heading home. Scott and Megan headed downtown for lunch and we headed home for lunch and nap. The boys ate well and were so much happier today and I was grateful because I was feeling so poorly. Once they woke up we did snack and then headed outside to play. I was feeling too sick to go anywhere so we sat on the grass and played with their toys for a couple hours. Lindsey joined us with her 2 boys, which made it a bit more chaotic (as all of the boys typically want the toys that aren't theirs,) but all in all it was a good afternoon. We headed back to the orphanage at 5:45 and said our goodbyes. We also checked in with the orphanage director, as he was expecting our written rulings, however he updated us that the rulings were written, but not signed, so they are still not valid. Sigh... He told us he hoped by tomorrow or Monday to have the signatures completed. And with that another week bites the dust. With a bit of disappointment, we headed downtown for dinner, and by this point I was really feeling bad. I ate very little for dinner and mainly just rested on the table while everyone else ate. Toward the end of our meal, a storm was brewin', so we all hopped on Boda-Bodas to get home before the rain came. It was a nice change of pace from all the walking, and I was glad to not get stuck in the down-pour. In the evening, I began to have a slight fever and chills, so after my shower I curled into bed and just tried to relax. After taking everything in my medicine cabinet (natural and not!), my headache started to feel better, but I was still racked with chills and so uncomfortable. I finally fell asleep around 10:30 and was able to sleep mostly through the night. My fever broke, thank God, but it was just an all around hard day. 

Walking down to the Sailing Club

J watching the boats!

L deep in thought

 

Feeding the ducks!

Looking at Megan's pictures

On Saturday, I woke up feeling mildly better than the day before, but still extremely tired, congested, sore throat and cough. I didn't want to miss seeing the boys, so I decided to borrow a stroller from one of the other moms to make our walking more bearable. We ate breakfast with Scott and Megan then we all walked to orphanage to get the boys. We had made plans to go to the pool, and the boys were pumped! Thankfully Megan was a collegiate swimmer, and has taught years of swim lessons, so she was a huge help to us the whole morning. The boys were hesitant initially, but we were able to get them both in the adult pool and the did great kicking, blowing bubbles and jumping off the sides. They did leaps and bounds better than the last time we went, and it was so encouraging to see their fear subside in such a short time. Go J&L! At noon we walked home and got the boys ready for lunch and nap. J was being especially difficult this afternoon (I think because he was SO excited from the morning and over-tired from the week), but it took a lot of patience and consistent discipline for him to finally calm down. He was definitely testing our limits!! Unfortunately, it still took J over 25 minutes to fall asleep, but L was out fairly quickly. They slept until 3ish, but I was hoping they would rest a bit longer as this momma was still on the struggle bus. We gave them snack and then headed outside for a bit before FaceTiming with my oldest brother and his wife. The boys were a little shy, but are definitely warming up to the idea of technology, and it was fun to see them interact with my 3-year-old niece Gia :) After chatting with our family, we went back outside and the boys played in the grass for a little over an hour. Scott and Megan joined us, which the boys loved, and it was nice to have a quiet afternoon. We dropped the boys off at 6:15, and the kids were already going inside to eat. So we said some quick goodbyes, and hustled out while they were distracted with food. I always hate leaving them at night, but I know it's only temporary, and prayerfully this week they will be ours for good! We went back to our apartment for dinner and our landlady, Alba, cooked us a wonderful Italian meal. The 4 of us ate and enjoyed the cooler weather that comes with the evening. Alba even joined us for a bit and regaled us with stories of her husband and how she came to Uganda. It was so sweet to hear her share about her Ugandan husband and you could see her face light up as she spoke. We are hoping for more times like this because in the end, life is really just about people, and it's been our privilege to share in their lives. After dinner we sat outside and talked until after 10, and Paul and I have enjoyed having some comforts from home in Scott and Megan :)

J "reading" to Scott and Megan

Walking down our road

A huge Marabou Stork right next to our apartment. Yes that is a pile of trash it's standing in

Sunday was tough. I was still feeling very lethargic with minimal energy, hardly any voice and a persistent cough and it was SO HOT. And when I say hot, I mean just sitting in the shade you are still sweating. We ate breakfast with Scott and Megan than headed to the orphanage to pick up the boys. They were dressed a little nicer today, and they both looked so "smart." We decided to go back to Christ Commission Ministries, where we went Wednesday night, for their 10:00 service. However, once we arrived it was apparent they were still in the middle of the first service which started at 7:30am! Yes, you read that correctly. So we sat down thinking it would be over somewhat soon, however at 11:30, they finally wrapped up the first service and began the second. So since we caught most of the sermon from the first service, we stayed for the second service worship then headed out around 12:15. By the time we got home I was feeling fairly poor, but I rallied to get the boys lunch and then get them down for a nap. Well at 2:10 a full hour after we started trying to put them down, they finally went to sleep. We've been having a lot of difficulty with J when he gets upset and after 20-30 minutes of wailing and screaming and aggression, he finally fell asleep on Paul in the kitchen. Poor little love has been so off this week and we have been continually praying that he will be peaceful and simply let us love him. He fights tooth and nail on so many things, but when he finally gives in, it's beautiful. Paul and I just want to cry because we love him so much, but it's been hard to be consistently patient and compassionate when you just want to cry. So with the boys down at 2 we let them sleep until 4 and then gave them a quick snack before heading to the sailing club. We had been wanting to take a boat ride to see the source of the Nile river, so Scott and Megan came with us, and the boys were definitely excited for their first boat ride. We were on the water for about 45 minutes and it was so beautiful and relaxing. We saw so many different species of birds as well as otters! It was a really fun experience, and we were thankful we got to have this "first" with the boys! At 5:45 we started the walk back to the orphanage and arrived around 6:15. I had almost no voice at this point, so I hugged and kissed the boys to the max before we headed out. Most restaurants are closed on Sundays, so we decided just to get some street Chapati and chicken and make our own wraps. It was good choice and we were enjoying having a low key evening with great food. We got home around 7:30 and just sat outside and talked (I mostly squeaked) until late in the evening. Overall it was a good day, but I'm believing I will continue to feel better and better this upcoming week. 

Street Meat!

This week we are believing that we will get our written rulings on Monday, pick up our passports on Tuesday and go to medicals the same day. Most of the time they will not do the Tb test on the same day you make your appointment, but we're believing we will have favor with their office so we can make some progress this week. If we can't go to medicals on Tuesday, we will have to wait until Monday of next week which will delay us another week. Please pray things continue to move along and that everything will come into alignment. It's been so hard to be dealing with all of this while being so sick and I've definitely been feeling the weariness with the added stress. Please also pray for the boys to have peace and no fear or anxiety. They are truly adjusting SO well to us, but when they don't know how to express their emotions it seems like all hell can break loose. We ask that you continue to partner with us and pray for their little lives and hearts (and if you have time, ours too!). We know God will continue to knit our family together, and it's been beautiful to see his handiwork already. Here's to week 8!

Love to you,