WE ARE COMING HOME!!!!!!!!
Our dear friends and family,
It is with the most grateful of hearts that I am able to say WE ARE COMING HOME!!!!! There is NO other way we could be coming home this week without the favor of God, and we can't even express how thankful we are. We have felt like we've been at war, and even when things fell into place and we got all the paperwork needed, we still felt mostly numb to it all. We are excited on the inside, but will be rejoicing when our butts are actually on that plane!
The story of how it all shook out is not really believable, and we are still reeling at the chain of events over the last 4 days. So just to give you some idea, here's a (not so) brief synopsis...
- We found out late Friday night that the passports had been printed. We were skeptical, especially since they didn't say they are “ready”, and to be honest, we didn’t think we would have them until early this week.
- On Saturday, Paul goes to the orphanage and our director HAS THE PASSPORTS in his hand! WHAT?! So Paul and I compose ourselves, and that evening write an e-mail to the Embassy letting them know we have everything we need for the interview.
- On Monday morning, I am checking my e-mail like a maniac, as I was hoping the Embassy would e-mail to let us know of our appointment date. We were assuming we would get an interview for Wednesday or Thursday this week, which wouldn't allow us to pick up our visas until the following week. Regardless, I was super anxious, and kept refreshing my internet (which is about as fast as a slug in super glue), waiting to hear back. Well at 8:35 I get an e-mail from the Embassy saying that they could squeeze us in THAT DAY at 1:00. Excuse me? Did that say today at 1:00 TODAY?!
- So in pure panic mode, I tell Paul who immediately calls our orphanage director. Of course his phone is OFF, and about 30 calls later, he finally answers his phone at 9:20. AHHH! So we tell him the situation and ask if he can get the family together. He basically tells us that it's not going to happen, but if we want to "risk it", he will make the calls. So we say YES, GO, CALL, MAKE IT HAPPEN. After that, Paul and I pretty much resolved that we weren't going, so we finished breakfast, got the boys ready, got ourselves mostly ready, and then were just playing in the apartment with the boys. We would typically leave Jinja at 10:00 (at the latest) to get to Kampala by 1:00, and by this time it was already 9:58. THEN all of a sudden the phone rings...it's our director saying it's a go! So I jump up, put on a dress, back my bags, kiss all 3 of my boys, and take a boda to the orphanage (Paul and the boys didn't need to go).
- I arrive at 10:15am, and the social worker, Hope, (who helps coordinate the family) tells me that J's relative (let's call him A - who lives very close) is on his way, and we would pick up L's relatives on our way. So 5 minutes go by, A is still not there. Hope calls him again, and he admits he lied and hasn't left his house. Deep breath. So she tells him to get on a boda and come here ASAP, and he says he's getting on one now and will be there. So another 5 minutes goes by, A is still not there. Hope calls him again...he has still not left his house. She then tells him to take a boda to a meeting point just outside of town toward Kampala and we would meet him there. So me and Hope get in the car with our driver, and get to the meeting point in record time. We park the car and wait another 5 minutes...still no A. Sooooo Hope calls him again...he STILL HAS NOT LEFT HIS HOUSE! Hope then begin to yell at him, and 10 minutes later he shows up. At this point, Hope tells me I'm going solo (ahhhh!) and gives me the number for L's relatives, informing me to call them when we get close (gulp). She had already called them to get them prepared, but insisted I call again to make sure.
At this point it's 10:50 and we are JUST leaving Jinja.
- I had a new driver I've never had before, and after I introduce myself, I tell him how important it is that we get to the Embassy by 1:00, and to do whatever he needed to get us there! He was kind and spoke English well, and he assured me he would get us there. So the whole drive, I'm praying under by breath, and I don't think I actually took a breath for over 3 hours. Halfway through the drive, I call L's relative (P), and I get an immediate message back saying his phone is off. I immediately begin to panic, and call Hope to inform her. She says she will try him, and get back to me. 5 minutes later she calls me back and says she was able to get a hold of him and told him to keep his phone on. So I call him back...he answers...and I tell him where we are and that we will be to his town in 25-30 minutes. He says he will be ready, and we hang up. As we got closer, I asked my driver to talk to P in order to direct him where to pick him up. So I hand my phone to the driver, he talks to P, tells him where to go and they hang up. We then arrive at P's meeting spot...he's not there. I ask the driver to call him again...he does...10 minutes later P shows up. He's supposed to have the other relative (M) with him, but instead has someone else I've never met. I again start to panic. I greet him hello, ask him if he has M's ID, and then ask him where M is?! He informs me we will pick her up just down the road, and thankfully hands me M's ID (I have the passports for the other 2 in my purse!). So we drive another 15 minutes or so, and P directs the driver to stop to pick up M. I don't see her waiting anywhere so P gets out of the car to go get her. 5 minutes goes by, 10, 15, 20, 25, and FINALLY 30 MINUTES LATER, P and M are back at the car. The entire time I'm waiting for them, I'm praying like a mad woman and I also called P's phone 10 times with no answer. My heart was in my throat! It is now 12:10pm and we are still pretty far outside Kampala.
- Once I calm down a bit, P asks me about the passports, and I inform him I have them in my purse. Then he starts talking to the driver in Luganda, and I tune out as I don't know what is being said. The whole time I'm texting Paul to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. So we're driving...things are moving pretty well...I'm recognizing all the usual landmarks to get to the Embassy...until I don't. I just assumed the driver was going a different way, and seeing as I have no clue where things are in Kampala, I just let it roll. At 12:55 he parks the car, and says he will wait here until we're done. I get out of the car...get the family out of the car...and realize instantly that we're down the street from the passport office NOT the Embassy. I run back to the car and ask the driver why we are here and not at the Embassy?! He informs me that P told him we needed to pick up passports first. SAY WHAT?! I'm sure this is the conversation they had in Luganda AFTER I already told P that I had the passports IN MY PURSE! So I tell the family to get back in the car and in sheer panic ask the driver how far away we are. He says only 5 km, but he doesn't know how long it will take with traffic. My panic level goes through the roof. So he pulls out, drives quickly, and we immediately get stuck in a traffic circle in stand still traffic. Again, I'm praying like crazy under my breath, all the while feeling like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. After about 5 minutes, we finally start moving, and my driver zipped along as fast as he could. We arrive at the Embassy at 1:07 and I tell the family to HURRY (in Uganda that's like asking them to walk as fast as a turtle instead of a snail! :) I love them, but they definitely don't understand the need to rush). So I power walk ahead, get through the first level of security, get the family through security, and head to the window to get our visitor passes. I tell the man (behind the bullet proof glass) that I am here for a visa interview and I slide my passport under the slot. He checks in out...looks at his computer...and tells me "You don't have an appointment today." Cue my bajillionth panic attack. I take a breath and inform him that the Embassy had e-mailed me this morning for a 1:00 time slot, and that I had confirmed via e-mail. He asks me to see the e-mail, and I pull it up and then hold my phone up to the window. He appears to read it, and then without saying anything, just slides my passport and visitor's badge under the slot. THANK YOU JESUS. So once that is resolved, I check the other 3 in, get all of our phones and goods checked into a locker, get us all through the second level of security, and power walk my way up to the consular section.
- Once I'm there, I check in and they ask us to wait outside. At this point it's almost 1:20, and I'm sure we've missed our appointment. There was another adoptive mom there (that I knew through FaceBook), and she told me her appointment was at 1:30, but she had arrived at 12:45 and no one had been called back since she got there. So I continue to pray and wait...pray and wait. Not more than 5 minutes later, they call my name and I usher all of the family members back inside. I go in first and then get A situated. 15 minutes later he comes out and I go back in. They then ask for M and P. So I usher them in, get them settled, and then go back to the waiting room and sit. 20 minutes later they come out, I go back in, and the consular asks me to go wait and he'll call me back in. I immediately go into worst case scenario mode. I'm thinking...maybe A said something and they are going to only approve L's case and J's case may get sent to Rome...I know, I know I was catastrophizing, but you would've too if you were in my shoes! I wait 15 more minutes until the consular calls me back in. He says nothing except, "Well, we hope to have your visas ready to pick up tomorrow at 4pm. We normally don't do this, but since you've been waiting 2 extra weeks, we will try to have it ready by then." In my state of panic, it took me a moment to register what he said. I then kindly smiled, thank him, ask him a couple clarifying questions, and walk back to the waiting room, as if all this was no big deal. I was literally in shock. However, seeing as I was alone, I got my thoughts back in focus, gathered up the family and head out of the Embassy back to the car. Once we get in, I give the driver some directives then immediately call Paul. He is also in shock and we, together, continue to mumble words of disbelief that this day actually happened!
- The drive home was tough. We had to drop off the family members one at a time again, it was POURING rain, and with the craziness of the day, I felt like I hardly got to talk to them. So as we dropped each one off, I got out of the car in the rain, gave them hugs and thanked them for making today happen. P and M were so kind, and P actually bowed to me while thanking me and then teared up after we hugged. It was very emotional for me as well, but with the craziness of the last 2 weeks, the craziness of the day and standing in the rain, I was still feeling a bit numb. I gave him another hug, assured him we would keep in touch, and hopped back in the car as he walked away. Talk about emotional. Woof.
- At 4:45 I arrive back to our guesthouse and Paul and I hugged for what felt like forever in pure relief. Of course we tell the boys the good news, and they OF COURSE jump up and down and celebrate with us, but in reality we know they have no idea what this all really means! :) Once step down, now visas to go!
- Tuesday was a fairly normal morning, but at 12:45, Paul headed to Kampala to pick up the visas and I stayed behind with the boys. The Embassy said they would call or e-mail me if the paperwork wouldn't be ready, but seeing as I didn't have any notification, Paul headed out. They told us to come at 4:00, and when Paul arrived he was one of the only people there. He said he was getting a bit nervous, until they finally called his name at 4:30. He headed into the 5x5 room, they handed over the passports, the visas and the triple sealed envelopes we need to hand carry to the U.S. and that was that. We finally have everything we need to go home!! When he called me to tell me the news, I was still so stoic, but continually thanking God for his goodness. There is definitely NO WAY this would've happened without God's intervention, because there were a million reasons on Monday why I shouldn't have made that interview. We were told if we didn't make it that afternoon, the next appointment wouldn't be until Thursday, which would've put us behind another whole week. I mean, c'mon guys. God is good.
So at this point, we are planning to leave Uganda late Thursday night and arrive in Dulles on Friday afternoon. Please pray that we are able to get through the Entebbe security without any difficulties as they typically give adoptive families a very hard time. Please pray the boys are calm for the flight and hopefully get some sleep! Pray for rest and patience for us, as we are already exhausted and we know this flight will only further that trend! Please pray that the boys will transition well, and that they won't regress a ton once we're home. Some regression is normal, but we would love to have a more seamless transition, especially since we've put in a lot of hard work already here!
While we are so excited to go home, leaving Jinja will definitely be bittersweet. It is here that we first became a family. Here where we learned what parental love really means. It was here that we fought many battles of fear, anger, and loss, but each time learned how great our God really is. We have come out stronger, bolder, braver, despite the emotional trauma that ensued, and through it all, feel more determined to follow God's call on our lives in whatever capacity that is. God has used this time to redeem not only our children's lives, but ours as well, and we have felt privileged to be a part of this time in our boys' lives. We still have a long road of healing, bonding and trust ahead of us, but we know God will be faithful to complete the work he started in all 4 of us. As we navigate this new season, we want all of you to be a part of it, but we ask that you respect this special time in our lives, and continue to be sensitive to our needs as a family. Here are few things we'd like to share as we prepare to come home...
- Let us hibernate a little bit! Trust me, we want to see all of you too, but we know this adjustment will be HUGE and a bit traumatic for our boys, and we need to give them time to grieve and adjust. As wonderful as bringing them home will be, we are taking them away from everything they've ever known and everything that is familiar to them. So yes, they will need some time to grieve these losses, as difficult as they were. This season will be about bonding and building trust, so unless we give you the okay to stop by, please don't make any surprise visits! Additionally, we have many requirements we have to fulfill in the first 30 days we're home, so I know with the holidays slammed in there it will be a whirlwind. However, a phone call or e-mail asking to stop by is perfectly acceptable! Just don't be offended if we happen to say no that day :)
- If you happen to run into us when we're out and about, please refrain from holding our boys. High fives and fist bumps are okay, but we need them to feel safe with us in America first before we start passing them off to others :) Additionally, we ask that you not give out any food or toys as they still have a lot of learning to do in regards to possessions and respect. As we get settled this will change, but for now, a high-five will do! :)
- Please do not ask personal details of their background or their family information. That information is their story to tell, and Paul and I are just temporarily the guardians of that information. We want the boys to know that information first and then share it on their terms as they are older. I know so may of you are curious (and heck, I would be too!), but many of the details surrounding their past is painful to rehash for all of us, and it doesn't help our healing to continue to share it. Additionally, please don't ask about the nitty-gritty details or other adoption related stuff in front of the boys. While most of the time it wouldn't matter, they are both VERY observant and I don't want to talk about them in front of them. I'm happy to share the details of our journey with you, but let's do it over coffee rather than with the boys! Please and thank you!
- Give us grace. We are still learning to be a family...they are still learning to be brothers...and everything is going to require extra time. They still have so many wounds they are working through, and even though things may seem normal, we are far from it. We ask that you continue to pray for healing and restoration for all of us!
Thank you all so much for sticking by us in this difficult time and for all your words, prayers and support. I know I've said it a million times before, but seriously, you all have no idea how awesome you are to us. You've reminded us to keep persevering, and in the face of emotional and financial despair, you have all rallied on our behalf and given us the ability to put one foot in front of the other. Our hearts are full, and we are thankful for each one of you.
Virginia, here we come!