We Love You Baby Blue
Hi all, Bettina here. I guess I wanted to share the roller coaster of emotions that is adoption. I want you to have a glimpse of the humanity that comes from the journey. I want you to see the realness behind our story and understand that sometimes this is just plain hard.
So, things got real for me this week. On Thursday, we received updated pictures and videos of our sweet Olivia, and our hearts were overjoyed at seeing more of her personality come through. These pictures also showed the extent of her skin discoloration, and my heart broke for her. She is blue. She is blue from chest to toes, and no matter how we view her, this will be a struggle for her entire life. I feel like it's hard enough to be a girl in this day and age dealing with "normal" issues, let alone having anything different about your physical appearance.
When I look at her pictures, I see my daughter. I don't see the stain on her face. I don't see the blue on her skin. I see her smile and her determination. I see her playing with her brothers, and learning what it means to be in a family. But then I think about our world…the judgment, the harshness, the lack of acceptance that comes with anything different...and my heart breaks for her.
I'm not going to lie, after seeing her pictures this week, I once again felt that feeling of being unequipped. I once again felt the feeling of inadequacy. I felt the weight of the responsibility that comes with raising a child, and more specifically a child with needs. But then I remembered that I don't need to do this alone. I remembered that we serve a mighty God who will not only carry my daughter through tougher seasons, but He will carry me through as well. I remembered how my primary goal as her mama is to impart value, worth, beauty and love into her life all while pointing her toward Jesus. I remembered that even though God chose me to be her mom, He is her ultimate healer. He will be the one to sustain her through her trials. He will be the one to comfort her in times of frustration or sadness. He will be the one to unlock her purpose and calling.
I'm slowly realizing that even though she's different, God can use her differences as a testimony of His goodness. That even though she's different, God can use her to be a world-changer. That maybe BECAUSE of her differences, she will make a bigger impact than I could ever imagine.
My heart is full thinking about her life and all the dreams I have for her, but in the meantime, I wait. I pray. I trust that Gods plan is much better than my own, and I continually give her over to Jesus.
Even as I write this I can't help but smile knowing that, in spite of her appearance and medical diagnoses, she is so loved already. She has already found a place so deep in our hearts and in our family. She has already woven herself into the role of daughter, even from around the world.
So my sweet Olivia, may you always know how beautiful you are. May you always feel the love and acceptance of God and your family. May you always grow from trials. May you embrace your differences and use them to impact lives.
Thank you friends for following along with us on this journey. We covet your prayers and encouragement.
So, things got real for me this week. On Thursday, we received updated pictures and videos of our sweet Olivia, and our hearts were overjoyed at seeing more of her personality come through. These pictures also showed the extent of her skin discoloration, and my heart broke for her. She is blue. She is blue from chest to toes, and no matter how we view her, this will be a struggle for her entire life. I feel like it's hard enough to be a girl in this day and age dealing with "normal" issues, let alone having anything different about your physical appearance.
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| Our Sweet Girl. |
I'm not going to lie, after seeing her pictures this week, I once again felt that feeling of being unequipped. I once again felt the feeling of inadequacy. I felt the weight of the responsibility that comes with raising a child, and more specifically a child with needs. But then I remembered that I don't need to do this alone. I remembered that we serve a mighty God who will not only carry my daughter through tougher seasons, but He will carry me through as well. I remembered how my primary goal as her mama is to impart value, worth, beauty and love into her life all while pointing her toward Jesus. I remembered that even though God chose me to be her mom, He is her ultimate healer. He will be the one to sustain her through her trials. He will be the one to comfort her in times of frustration or sadness. He will be the one to unlock her purpose and calling.
I'm slowly realizing that even though she's different, God can use her differences as a testimony of His goodness. That even though she's different, God can use her to be a world-changer. That maybe BECAUSE of her differences, she will make a bigger impact than I could ever imagine.
My heart is full thinking about her life and all the dreams I have for her, but in the meantime, I wait. I pray. I trust that Gods plan is much better than my own, and I continually give her over to Jesus.
Even as I write this I can't help but smile knowing that, in spite of her appearance and medical diagnoses, she is so loved already. She has already found a place so deep in our hearts and in our family. She has already woven herself into the role of daughter, even from around the world.
So my sweet Olivia, may you always know how beautiful you are. May you always feel the love and acceptance of God and your family. May you always grow from trials. May you embrace your differences and use them to impact lives.
Thank you friends for following along with us on this journey. We covet your prayers and encouragement.